Old habits fall hard

As my time here comes and goes I find myself looking back on the past and what I did before the Lord was my top priority.  I feel ashamed but blessed at the same time.  If I didn't go through what I had would my coming back to the Lord be as incredible feeling?

In my past in have taken part in different activities that at the time I didn't care one way or the other.  But now I hope that people do not ever look at me in that light again.  As a teen drugs, sex, and alcohol were in the lives of many of my friends and myself.  It was the "cool" thing to do.  How silly and selfish of me and all of us to think that way. 

I have been very good about not drinking in the last year (not saying I haven't at all but just not as much) which is kind of funny considering I'm finally 21 and can drink when ever I want to but I don't.  My problem is that when I get upset, mad, depressed, nervous, and overwhelmed I want to drink.  I want to lose control for that moment and just relax and feel nothing at all.  This will be a challenge but I am praying that I will not drink in the next 9 months. 

This is all I have tonight please feel free to ask any questions or leave any comments.
I hope you enjoyed my thoughts.

To my readers

I want to apologize ahead of time if anyone gets offended from what I say.  This is my blog and my true feelings and thoughts if I were to sugar coat these things then you would not ever get to know me for who I am as a person.  Please enjoy my thoughts.

My top two Bible verses

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalms 62: 1-2